Thursday, July 14, 2005
Anticipation
I just re-realized (if you can do such a thing) that I'm going out on Lake Superior in two days! It will be 3 1/2 hours on the LL Smith, a research vessel. We will help with running tests on water quality, aquatic life and who knows what else. It's going to be fun and I'm looking forward to it!
Now to figure out what to wear. My first instinct is to wear jeans, of course, but some friends said they'd be "too heavy" and that a light cotton would be better. But I really don't want to be wearing my work pants when we're monkeying around with water, fish and all. So I think it's going to stay jeans. And then the top, something with a hood, or maybe just carry a hooded waterproof jacket. That the toughest part of the trip, getting ready for it.
To God -- From, The Dog
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me recite you a list of just some of the things I must remember - to be a good dog, some dog commandments:
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are laps.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
6. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
7. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not throw up in the car.
11. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, My last question . .
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
Now to figure out what to wear. My first instinct is to wear jeans, of course, but some friends said they'd be "too heavy" and that a light cotton would be better. But I really don't want to be wearing my work pants when we're monkeying around with water, fish and all. So I think it's going to stay jeans. And then the top, something with a hood, or maybe just carry a hooded waterproof jacket. That the toughest part of the trip, getting ready for it.
To God -- From, The Dog
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me recite you a list of just some of the things I must remember - to be a good dog, some dog commandments:
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are laps.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
6. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
7. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not throw up in the car.
11. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, My last question . .
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
